


Too Many P's

by eidheann



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I don't even know anymore, M/M, Penguins, disclaimer: author doesn't care to know either, disclaimer: author knows nothing about penguins, giftfic, no civil war compliance, pebble piles, some snark and banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-11 02:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eidheann/pseuds/eidheann
Summary: In which there are penguins, potential Hydra bases, and pebble piles. And also Steve and Bucky.





	Too Many P's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firethesound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firethesound/gifts).



> So many mumble years ago, firethesound asked me to write her a penguin fic for a bday/xmas/whatever gift. Instead of asking for porn like a normal person. And I was all wtf you are crazy, and it sat and sat and sat.
> 
> So for spite and because I love you, have your fucking penguins. You don't get any porn. Happy birthday.

"You know Tony is just fucking with us, right?" Steve had kept up a steady stream of muttering since they'd entered the empty room and a holographic snowscape bloomed around them, but that was the first it had been directed at Bucky.

"Probably." Bucky waddled across the room, dodging the large shadowy penguins around them. "I mean if he can make robot penguins, get them to the South Pole in secret, and set up this weird control projector thing, he could definitely put his computer in charge of doing the recon."

Steve shot Bucky a flat look from across the room, then squawked and stumbled backwards when a penguin bumbled into him and flapped angrily.

"If the penguins suspect anything, you'll blow our cover," Bucky shot Steve a smug grin over his shoulder.

Steve waved his arms at the other penguin, who promptly got right up in his face. Bucky sighed, crossing the room again, wondering why the _fuck_ someone (Tony) decided that sticking Steve in the middle of a pile of the most stupidly aggressive not-bird birds would be anything but a mistake. 

Or maybe that he would fit right in.

Bucky shoved the projection aside and got between it and Steve's face in a way that felt all-too familiar for someone with as many holes in his memory as Bucky had. "Come on, come on. You told that bird what-for," he said as he tried to crowd Steve away from it.

"It crashed into me!"

"It's a fucking penguin, Steve. Like. Somewhere a million miles away it is a literal fucking penguin."

"You told me to not break our cover," Steve muttered, glaring over Bucky's shoulder. Bucky turned as well, then sighed at the still-flapping angry sausage bird.

"I'm going to leave you to your people," he said with a grimace. "If you need me, I'll be over here doing penguiny things."

"I _am_ doing a penguiny thing. And I hate that we live in a world where those words just came out of my mouth."

Bucky snorted, turning back to the pile of rocks he was gathering. "Captain America, the man who is going to lose a fight against a 20 pound fatbird."

"Hey! At least I'm not just building rock piles."

"Steve, most of the penguins here are building rock piles. And I know how much you suck at covert ops normally, but even you should know that the first rule of covert ops is blending in."

"I am blending in," Steve shot over his shoulder, flapping his arms like an idiot at the penguin.

"You're engaging in a challenge with the king of the flock."

Steve squawked again and fell backwards, and the other penguin huffed and trundled off with a smug waddle. Bucky laughed, dropping another ghostly pebble onto his pile. "Didn't want to be king of the flock? In charge of all the other little penguins? Respected and adored and--"

Steve tackling Bucky to the ground wasn't entirely unexpected, and he seemed to have made enough of a reputation for being an asshole that the penguins around them didn't so much as glance in their direction.

"And what are you doing with the pebbles, anyway?"

"Marking my homestead." Bucky had no idea what he was doing with the pebbles, but Steve didn't need to know that. It would call into question Bucky's comment about Steve's almost-fight and probably lead to him punching a penguin.

"Yeah, okay," Steve sighed, before pushing himself up and off Bucky again. "I'll help."

"Thanks."

They spent the next hour squabbling more or less good-naturedly over the collection and placement of pebbles, while keeping an eye on the direction of the supposed Hydra base. It looked like a mound of snow, and Bucky wasn't certain it wasn't. The other penguins ignored them completely, and the morning passed in an oddly pleasant haze. Much better than staking out the base would be in person. Stretched out in the snow for hours, feeling the ache as the cold and wet seeped through his coat, freezing the arm and leaving frostbite where it touched skin.

"Hey, Buck?" 

Bucky jerked as he became aware of the warmth of Steve beside him, the light grasp of his hand pressing against the metal plates of his arm. He blinked quickly, focusing on the translucent penguins around them before turning a weak smile in Steve's direction. 

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Steve's smile softened, the concern around his eyes gentling into something else that Bucky couldn't identify. "Didn't ask if you were okay, jerk." He gave Bucky a light nudge with his shoulder. "Was just gonna point out that your pile is getting lopsided with me doing all the work."

Bucky felt his muscles loosen and he huffed a laugh. "Only because you've been piling them up in one corner and I've been working to keep everything even."

"Hey, just because I'm better at being a penguin than you are…."

"You are _not_ a better penguin than I am."

"Am I interrupting?" 

Steve and Bucky both spun to look at where Natalia was propped up against the door in a comfortable and entirely contrived slouch. A penguin near them gave an irritable twitch and moved further away, and Bucky glanced quickly towards the Hydra-mound.

"The future of spying, courtesy of one Tony Stark," Steve grumbled, going back to gathering pebbles. 

"Hm," Natalia managed to include a world of skeptical amusement in a brief puff of breath and small twist of her lips. Bucky glared at her.

"Cute that you two are building a nest together."

Bucky's shoulders were up tight around his neck again, and he forced them down, turning to go back to it. "First rule of covert ops is fitting in."

Steve dropped a pebble that skittered down the side of the pile. Bucky picked it up and put it back in place. "Yeah, and every other penguin here is piling up rocks."

"Yep." The 'p' popped obnoxiously as Natalia peered obviously around. "Solo. Though I suppose if you two have been cohabitating for 90 years, it stands to reason you'd move past the pining and into the actual shacking up eventually."

She turned and strolled back to the doorway, seemingly unaware of the way Bucky's stomach tumbled and his world shattered around him. "Oh, and Tony says good job with the field test. You boys can pack it in whenever."

Steve and Bucky were left staring after her as the door slid silently shut, leaving them alone in the holographic snowscape. There was a moment of silence before Steve cleared his throat, the same awkward sound that stretched back into the deepest, muddiest recess of memory.

"So. Makes me wish I'd actually bet on Tony fucking with us."

Bucky dragged a breath through the tightness in his throat. "Wouldn't have bet against you on that one, punk."

He was caught off-guard when Steve nudged him, he hadn't realized he was that close, and he stumbled forward, to be caught by Steve's hand on his arm pulling him in. 

"Can't blame a man for hoping." 

The silence stretched then, and Bucky felt himself wind tighter and tighter, the repeated whine of the servos in his arm loud in the room. "So you don't actually know anything about penguins, do ya?"

Bucky huffed out a surprised laugh. "Not really."

"So this pebble thing. What do you think? Key to the apartment? Engagement ring?" Steve nudged him again, and he glance down and blinked at the holographic pebble Steve was holding out to him. "I mean, we kinda live together already…." Steve's words trailed off and Bucky finally looked up at his face, flushed red, but with a familiar half grin twisting his lips. 

"Whaddya say? Wanna build a pebble tower with me, Buck?"

Bucky felt his own face turning red, and he cursed that he apparently used to be _good_ at this. "Well. Someone needs to help you out. You're pretty bad at it on your own."

"Just take my fucking pebble, you jerk," Steve laughed, shoving Bucky again. 

Bucky spared a thought for Tony's robot penguins somewhere in Antarctica, standing close and building a shared nest. It wasn't as frightening as he thought it would be. He reached out and took the pebble, dropping it onto the pile. Then he reached forward again, reeling Steve closer. "You're a pretty lousy penguin."

"Excuse you, I'm a brilliant penguin."

"I like you better as you."

Steve's face lit up, and his smile grew blinding. "I like you better as you, too, jerk." He squeezed Bucky's hand. "For a long time."

Bucky smiled in return. "For as long as I can remember. Take that however you want."

Steve laughed, his head dropping forward onto Bucky's shoulder. Bucky never wanted it to leave, and he reached forward, wrapping his arms around Steve and pulling them tightly together. 

"C'mon. We should let the penguins go back to being penguins without us."

Steve laughed, warm against him. "Yeah. And we don't want Tony recording this for posterity, either."

"Anything but that."

Steve pulled away and smiled, before leaning in and pressing a kiss, quick and chaste, to his lips. "Come on."

"Okay," Bucky breathed. "Okay."


End file.
